Masterpiece

                 

     I used to find it difficult to think of myself as a masterpiece, as flawed as I am. There are lots of things I dislike about myself and wish I could change. Over the years I've agonised over wanting to be prettier, or less serious, more confident, more like so and so ... etc. For me confidence did come with age and experience of life and different circumstances, it is a lot easier now for me to accept that I have made many mistakes in life, I AM learning from them. I try to be a better person everyday, more patient with my daughter, more open with people, to consciously love and have more fun and to let God in my life more because that is when I feel at my happiest and most fulfilled.

   I felt from a very early age that God's plan for me was to be a Mother - I can't explain how or why I know that. Since I was very young I have had a maternal instinct and this lead me to work in the childcare profession for a long time. It seemed at one point that I was destined to look after other other people's children but secretly I repressed and tried to dampen down my own desires.

    

    Motherhood is to me the greatest gift. I feel incredibly blessed and privileged to have given life and to nurture and love wholeheatedly and unconditionally a child I wanted so badly I would do anything and would fight for without question. So how would I feel if my daughter turned around one day and told me that she didn't feel good about herself, or loved, or felt unworthy of my love? I would feel destroyed, I would blame myself, I would be broken and I would want to take her in my arms and do everything it took to turn that around.

   This is how God feels about us because he created us exactly the way we are. He made YOU with a purpose to fulfil that means YOU are not just wanted; you're needed. You are created to display God's handiwork in and through you. 

   I am going to try harder to remember to say everyday "I am God's Masterpiece" and to tell my daughter that she "is a Matserpiece" too. Much of this blog is about trying to raise my daughter in the Christian faith and as yet I am really unsure how to do that. It is all a learning curve. The happiest periods of my life have been when I have opened my heart to God and I still get emotional and cry when I am worshipping and in the presence of God. I can't seem to help the tears flowing when I think of how loved I am in spite of all my flaws, imperfections and mistakes. Its over-whelming.